We buried my mom today. After a moving funeral, we laid her to rest about 80 feet from the church that she loved so much. The service was moving and saddening.
In keeping with her Free Church of Scotland roots, two of the hymns were actually unaccompanied sung Psalms (121 and 23) and that’s when I started to let loose with some tears. The church was packed and a friend of the family for 30 years read a eulogy. We had her interred and then went back in for a social time.
The wake was more physically exhausting, the funeral more emotionally exhausting. As Mom’s only living child I thanked everyone publically for coming to honour her and talked about how fitting it was that she was surrounded by people she loved in a place she loved, as we remembered both her many strengths and challenges. Many, many people came up to me and spoke about how kind Mom was to everyone she met and how she worked (so often behind the scenes) to make the community a better place. Children felt safe with her. She paid attention to kids with a patience that defies my abilities as a parent.
I’m dizzy at the thought that there are so many things she’ll never be able to tell me about herself and the her views of the world. My mom and I were alike in so many ways, different in so many others. I’m terrified that she won't be there for me, our kids, and my Dad.
I think I’m still in shock over what I’ve lost this week. I can’t yet my head around what life is going to be like without her. This was so sudden- it was last Sunday before we really knew that she was going to die, five days after she’d entered the hospital. I spoke to her on Wednesday night, but didn’t say goodbye. That’s unfortunate… More later.
B.
“Its been the worst day, since yesterday.”
LA Irish Punk Band Flogging Molly
I had always pictured that I’d have some time to say a real good bye to those with whom I’m closest. My mom is dying and I don’t think I’m going to get that chance with her. That said, we part on the best of terms, loved and respected.
On Tuesday she entered the hospital after a prolonged illness at home. At first we thought she had H1N1, then some kind of bacterial infection, but it now looks like her old nemesis cancer has come back. No H1N1, no infection… The results of a CAT scan appear to show a number of signs pointing to cancer. We didn’t know, but I’m not sure there was much we could have done if we had.
Mom was last awake coherently Wednesday evening and I saw her then and we had some time alone. Right now, Mom is asleep all the time. She’s still being treated but nothing seems to be making a great deal of difference aside from keeping her stable. She is fading, though.
Sorry to just dump this news here, but I do try to write about what I’m going through.
B.
I received a call tonight about 10:30 from the grandmother of a boy whom I’d mentored for the better part of five years. I had met him through a community agency (which is in no way connected to where I work now) and at their request basically hung out with him on weekends from 1993 until about 2000 (although I was out of province for two of those years).
I’m not sure I was the best of influences, but I wasn’t awful and he had a real lack of positive males in his life. Things petered out in 1999-2000 (I forget when exactly) and he and his family moved west. We didn’t really stay in touch, but I did here from his grandmother about 4 years ago to say that he was doing well and, I think, that she felt I’d been a good influence.
Tonight her message was more difficult to hear. My little buddy died this past July. Now over twenty, he died in an accident. I’m being vague because I want respect his privacy even now, but he died in a boating accident doing something that thousands of people do everyday.
Wow… I’d be a stretch to say that he was still a part of my life, but he was certainly part of my past. He was a nice kid, whose life could have gone either way. Apparently he was very well liked in the community and by his peers, was gainfully employed and still in meaningful relationships with those who cared about him. He was going to succeed and have fun doing it.
So, I’m a little stunned right now. The news was awful and felt like a blow to my head and soul at the same time. There’s not much more I can say. I may take tomorrow off to just do some thinking and remembering.
B.
Ninety days from now we be Christmas Day. Ninety days from today will also be three days into our Disney World vacation! As we’re staying on the resort with a full meal plan, every morning we make sit-down meal reservation for a day our vacation.
Today’s booking was Christmas Day and I had expected it to be a tough one. The bookings for each day go “live” at 7am our time and at 07:00:01 or so, I was on the website to make our booking at the Crystal Palace restaurant in the Magic Kingdom. I had tried for 12PM and needed up with 11:40. Not bad… That’s a busy second, though. :-)
B.
I'm generally not given to undue praise for films, even ones that touch on some of guilty my pleasures (such as realistic aliens, sci-fi, alternate history, apocalyptic themes, etc.). That said, DISTRICT 9 ROCKED.
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As any of you who ever visited our house know, the log playhouse in our backyard came with the house and was a pretty distinctive feature of our yard. No more, faithful readers... Playhouse no more...
Here's what it looked like:
Does it look like it was leaning to you? Here’s a different angle:
Maybe this will help:
With my father-in-law’s help, chainsaw, maul, and pick up truck, we tore down what had become a potential hazard and eyesore. Once the supporting poles started to rot, the whole structure has been doomed. The truth be told, the three hours of quality time with a 15 pound maul was the healthiest morning I’ve had in a while. :-)
There’s only another truckload of debris left. While doing real work, its not cool to stand there with a camera. It gets in the way of the 15 pound maul. That said, I snapped a new pic with my new (crappy) phone:
Good bye old friend.
B.
Last weekend's scorecard:
All in all, a very busy but successful weekend. This is why I can never find time to write!
B.
3:15 PM
First friend arrives with Super Girl. They have both been at birthday party.
4:30 PM
Second friend arrives. Trio appears to be getting along well, despite the fact that nature abhors trios. Playing and singing of most songs from Mamma Mia ensues
5:00 PM
The girls have a "spray fight" with a bottle of Febreeze air freshener. They use the whole bottle. I start to have an asthmatic reaction which peaks at about 4:30 the next morning despite over-dosing on my Ventolin inhaler.
5:30PM
Supper- hamburger wraps. More singing.
6:30PM
Movie starts- Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian (the girls' choice). Snacks and the ritualized wearing of extra underwear on their heads ensue. Fumes are bad but don't seem to bother anyone else.
7:45PM
Orange pop and vanilla ice cream floats are a hit.
9:00PM
A bed time of sorts. Air mattress and flip out kids' chesterfield are used in a dizzying array of all possible combinations of girls pillows and blankets. The girls settle on The Beatles' Abbey Road. Deep down I am bursting with pride at this classy choice even as my lungs feel like they may burst.
9:15PM
The first of many, many, many "Now its time to quiet down and go to sleep" speeches. The girls are VERY well-behaved, but very wound-up...
10:30PM
Girls are finally asleep. I am more choked up than ever. Not bad...
1:25AM
My breathing has calmed enough that sleep is a good and possible idea.
1:26AM
Super Girl (age 5) is awake and says she thinks that she is going to be sick. Happily she is not but she does have a fever (and has had one on and off most of the evening).
3:45AM
The girls are awake and noisy. Happy, but noisy. I go downstairs and lay down the law about how they are not to be up before 6:00AM. They don't settle for a while and I end up on the downstairs love seat for the better part of an hour.
7:30AM
Sound of cartoons come from downstairs. We don't know this for a while, but one girl called her parents at 7AM to announce that she had made it through the night. Over breakfast of chocolate chip pancakes, the girls claim to never gone back sleep since 3:30AM. After breakfast, the girls pick Star Wars III as their movie of choice, followed by craft time and pick up by their respective moms.
Phew,
B.
As you may have noticed, I haven't been a very faithful writer lately. This is due to several reasons.
All of that self-obsessed musing aside, life is good. Its great, actually. The four of us are happy and healthy and I'm still fascinated by how the girls are growing every day. Grade two and kindergarten are going well and the girls have solid wonderful friends. And, soon it will be spring! I've tried, but I'm still not a winter person.
All for now,
B.
Only Sponge Bob would do for Action Girl's 8th Birthday Party!
We had it at the pool and it was a wet and wonderful success. She has a wonderful group of not-so-little-anymore friends.
B.
Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy
"Bolik and ZIB Bolik (Болик) ran away just days before her flight in September 1951. A replacement named ZIB (a Russian acronym for "Substitute for Missing Bolik", "Замена исчезнувшему Болику" Zamena ischeznuvshemu Boliku), who was an untrained street dog found running around the barracks, was quickly located and made a successful flight. [edit]Otvazhnaya and Snezhinka Otvazhnaya (Отважная, "Brave One") made a flight on July 2, 1959 along with a rabbit named Marfusha (Марфуша, "Little Martha") and another dog named Snezhinka (Снежинка, "Snowflake"). She went on to make 5 other flights between 1959 and 1960."
I offer this to you because couldn't we all stand to know a whole lot more about "Soviet Space Dogs?"
B.
